DRAFT: This module has unpublished changes.

So This is It

Breaking up is hard to do, we all know this.  It sucks from both end of the spectrum and it hurts like hell, but it's life.  We move on.  I was moving on.  Things with "Charlie" had been a little strained for the past few weeks to the point where I began to wonder if each time he kissed me would be the last time.  I was constantly wating for the other shoe to drop and I hated it.  So Friday afternoon, I gathered all my courage and asked him to come over; I was going to end it.

 

Overall, it turned out to be a reletively painless disscussion.  There was no crying or sharp tongued words from either party, thank God.  Just a civil conversation bewteen two people who agreed that they weren't right for eachother... Well, lets pretend it was as simple as that.

 

"So this is it?" He asked as he shoved his hands deep into his pockets.

 

"This is it." I said.  "For what it's worth, I'm glad I got to know you." I added.

 

"I'm glad I got to know you too, you're a great girl.  I'm sorry-"

 

"Don't be, it's alright."

 

"Can I at least hug you goodbye?"

 

I smiled weakly and nodded.

 

"Come're then,"

 

There's a lot to be said about the first meeting, the first hug, the first kiss.  Yet no one really talks about the pain of last ones.  When you know for a fact that there won't be  a next time.  In a way, you have no choice but to savor it.  As we stood there in my drafty room, holding eachother far too tightly, I think that when it hit both of us that this really was it.  After this last embrace, it would be really over.  I really can't say how long we held eachother; could've been minutes, could've been hours.  Maybe time wasn't even present at all.  Or maybe it let us stay in our own little world for a bit longer.  Like it knew we needed it not to exist for our last few moments.

 

Yet as much as I wished that to be true, it wasn't and sonner or later we had to let each other go.  He kissed me on the forehead one last time before we finally broke apart.

 

"So I'll- um- see you around I guess?" He said awkwardly.

 

"See you around," I nodded and without another word he walked out the door.

 

Just like that, my first real relationship was over.

 

As I stood there alone in my room, I didn't break down.  I didn't scream in anguish and regret.  I didn't run after him and take it all back.  I just sighed and checked to see if my laundry was done.  I didn't let myself be upset.  There was no point.  And the truth was, I wasn't really even that upset.  Sure, I was sad that it was over but in a strange way I felt relieved.  No more waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.  It was over and it was done with, but it was okay.  I felt okay.  

 

I was moving on.

 

 

DRAFT: This module has unpublished changes.